This is a blog I posted on my personal page a few weeks ago. I decided to share it with the MB&Cer's, since it is related to art. Please do not take this as anything more than a cluster of my personal thoughts and feelings, and in no way is this meant to pass judgement or offend anyone in regards to their personal or spiritual beliefs, as I respect all persons' right to individual choices. It is simply a reflection of myself and my inspiration.
xoxo,
c.
I had a revelation this afternoon.
More so lately, I have been struggling with the question of why it is that I want to do what I want to do? Why is the art of acting such a passion of mine, and is it for the right reasons? What are the right reasons? Hopefully, I am not trying to fulfill some narcissistic desire or deficit from my life. That has always been my biggest fear. Not failing, but doing it for the wrong reasons. Why is it so important to me to be an artist? Is it simply because it was something I was good at as a child, so stuck with it out of ease and self indulgent recognition?
I had been having some anxiety attacks today about some upcoming changes in my world, so I sat down this afternoon to meditate, with the hopes of calming my mind. Literally as soon as I closed my eyes, I was overwhelmingly flooded with information.
Art is beautiful. But beauty is not something that I see with my visual eyes alone. Yes, it may begin with sight, but then proceeds to dance over my eyelids and gently seep into my iris. Then, like billows of smoke, travels whispily and dreamily into my self, my soul. It wraps itself around my inner essence and seamlessly merges into one with the foggy spirit that resides within my skin. It becomes a feeling and a life of it's own, radiating love and peace and God. (No specific religion's God, but God of all and every religion.) This is the closest I ever get to what I perceive is Truth.
Words are beautiful, as is silence. Nature is beautiful, as is the complexity of Science. Thoughts, emotions, sights, sounds, smells, touch; all are beautiful. The mere existance of life in form is beautiful. The majesty and wonder of each single breath is the simplest, and yet most complex art ever created. If you have ever watched the invisible wind blow over the tree tops, and each individual branch bend gracefully like a choreographed ballet, then you know the art I speak of. Or if you have heard chords on the violin played so perfectly, that it makes every strand of hair on your arms stand up. Or if you have ever watched a film where you learned heartfelt compassion and understanding for lives that are completely and utterly foreign to your own. Or seen birds soaring gently and effortlessly through the air and felt a surge of inspiration run through you. Or fallen in love with words on a page because it carried you away to far off worlds that can only be seen in the tiniest corners of your mind. Or noticed how the sunlight hits the perfect spot through your window creating a prismatic rainbow that dances around the walls of your room, and wondered how you never noticed it before...then you know the art I speak of.
I love to create art, because I hope to reach that delicate place in a viewer's being, and invoke any form of beauty inside of them. If I have been given the gift to be able to spend my life producing and sharing beauty with the world and beyond, then I will be incredibly fortunate and eternally grateful.
Whether through laughter, tears, words, pictures, or silence, I want to help construct the world and life itself into a continuously more beautiful place, inside and out.
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